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March 2004 Sermons
March 7, 2004 SermonRev. Nancy D. DeanMarch 7, 2004Women Who Work: A 21st Century ParadigmI suppose that most people have noticed by now that every month has been designated by Congress as a special month to lift up some groups which I think is a good thing; groups that have historically been under-valued and under-represented at all levels by society and by government. I live in hope that one day all these designations will be replaced by others. That will, of course, be the true test of the attention of both the Congress and the nation. So it was, then that in 1987, the month of March first received its standing as “National Women's History Month in order to encourage the recognition of women's many accomplishments throughout history.” While women have made significant contributions to the nation and to the world, it has rarely happened without sacrifice and a fight. The fact that March became Women's History Month, dates back to March 8, 1857, when: a group of female garment workers in New York City staged a protest to demand better working conditions and pay. Police aggressively halted the demonstration, but several years later the determined women formed their own union. In 1981, March 8 was observed as International Women's Day to acknowledge women's continuing struggle for recognition and rights. The first date correlates with the suffrage movement and women's early struggle to get the vote--an on going struggle for women in many parts of the world today. I want to note up front that many men of Unitarian and Universalist congregations during those early days were great proponents of women’s rights, as you men of our modern UU congregations continue to be. So, as I speak today, it is not without a deep appreciation for the front-line thinking of women and men in our movement that many of the accomplishments in the realm of social justice have been brought about, even the fact that the members of this congregation called me, a woman, as your minister. As a long-time student of history, I know and believe Aristotle’s maxim, that if we don’t learn from history, we will continue to repeat our mistakes. But, my sermon today, is not about history, so much as it is about the present and the future. As a product of the feminist movement, as a feminist myself, for how can any woman not be in favor of women’s rights and women’s desire and ability to succeed, I feel keenly that change comes about because we make it happen. I also believe that men are equally invested in the feminist movement, for they are after all the sons of mothers, the husbands of wives, the fathers of daughters-men are not disinterested parties. We are, though, in a period of transition when many significant changes have occurred, and what we do now is still somewhat in question. I remember my Grandma Dean, who was a very politically interested person for her day and our rural part of the world, at least to the extent that she never missed an opportunity to vote. She, having been born just after the end of the Civil War, remembered the “Bloomer” brigades; the marches for women’s right to vote, and valued the right to vote far more than we women do today. I valued going to college, which was not even an option for the majority of women of my grandmother’s generation. But I also remember one of my first college friends, who wanted to be admitted to study in the College of Engineering and was told point blank that women were not fit to be engineers. That was the day of women studying to be teachers, nurses, and private secretaries. Private secretary is a designation lost to the young people of today, but meant a great deal prior to the 1970s, for it indicated that the secretary in question had a college degree, or had achieved the highest level of that profession, usually as the right hand of the man in charge. The women and men today who do this work are quite rightly called “administrators” for that was what they always had been in fact-if not in pay or recognition. One of my aunts was a private secretary, and very highly thought of in our family, but another of my aunts-her name rarely spoken-disgraced herself by joining the WAC during World War II, and staying after the war was over, for it was well-known that “nice” women did not stay in the military. My daughter now represents a wide work force of young women who have never felt particularly limited in the fields that they could pursue to study, or the work that they could chose to do-which is not to say that all forms of such bias and discrimination are gone; but, compared to previous times in women’s history in this country, barriers are far fewer, and many of the current barriers are related to race and class barriers that affect both men and women. What does remain significantly different is the amount of money most women make compared to their male counterparts. Yet, that too has been improving over the last thirty years. But there are some reasons why I am concerned that these pay differentials will not go away entirely, and it has to do with the realm of responsibilities that women must shoulder who expect to have a family. Women today are realizing that, despite what we their mothers often told them, there are differences between men and women, there are differences in what you can expect to do, be, and achieve if you are a woman, and both men and women are affected by these differences. The world of humor also recognizes these differences. One day a colleague told her friend, Stan, that she was going home early because she didn't feel well. Since Stan was just getting over something himself, he wished her well and said he hoped it wasn't something he had given her. A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has morning sickness." My daughter represents many young women of her generation, for she planned to have a career in business, and was doing all the right sorts of things to assure her success. She had long said she did not want to have children, but wanted to be successful in her chosen field, then she turned thirty and it wasn’t long after that she began to feel strongly the urge to be a mother. Over then next two or three years that urge began persistent. Many people say that this is the biological clock ticking away in a woman’s head. Perhaps that is so. Nonetheless, she planned (No doubt, you’ve heard the joke: What to make God laugh? Tell her your plans!)-she planned to have her babies (by now It had become They), take her three-months of maternity leave, then go back to her job. Now this was an exceptional company and an exceptional job that allowed her to do quite a bit of work from home, though she did have to go into New York City two or three days a week. A month after going back to work, she realized that something had to give. She and her husband would have to make some sacrifices, but it was manageable-which is not true for so many young families. It took her another two months to disengage from her work, and she knew that she would not be able to step back into that work a few years from now when the girls are of school age. What will happen to the women, children, and men of the families who make these choices? And what will happen to those who have no choices? By the way, are there any women here who do not work? Of course not! Women who do not work outside the home, work nonetheless, in fact, they usually work as much or more. One day a man came home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around. Entering the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over. He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill, or that something had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?" "Yes," he replied." She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!" One change that is happening, almost without anyone’s notice, represents what is likely to become a 21st Century paradigm, or pattern, for women’s work. The way many bright, hard-working women, both young and not-so-young, are handling both the challenge of taking care of families, making money, and staying current in their respective fields is to start their own businesses. I remember saying that this would be how my daughter would handle her dilemma, for she has the kind of talent and energy that won’t be stopped even if the job she left won’t be there for her when she has the freedom to go back to work. I was surprise to learn, though, as I looked into this subject, just how far advanced this movement is already. There are over four million women-owned business in this country, which is something around thirty percent of all businesses, which accounted for nearly five-hundred billion in gross receipts--though the percent of government contracts that went to women-owned businesses was a mere (shall we say, a lousy), one percent. I have no very recent data, but I suspect that these figures are not much changed as of this year, 2004. Women are on the move in the direction of entrepreneurship, or owning their own businesses, and I believe we will see this continue to develop as the century matures. What I am less sanguine about, is whether they will prosper at all levels of entrepreneurship; for instance, will that lousy one percent of government contracts go up proportionally to the number of businesses women own? We who have the interests of our female half of the population at heart will want to be listening and observing how this trend develops. But what of women who do not want to be business owners, or career track professionals? Do they have a role, a place in this century of the working family? As a laud to the humble homemaker of history, let me say that I believe they have the hardest work, and do it all with no pay. My mother was the hardest working woman I have ever known, bar none. She rose at 5-6AM (went to bed after midnight as often as not), cooked three meals from scratch every; she tended a house without most of the so-called modern aids-though she considered her electric kitchen range and electric wringer washer the height of modern convenience. She sewed most of our clothes, washed and ironed them all, tended a vegetable garden the size of this sanctuary footing, canned most of the fruit and vegetables we ate out of season, crocheted garments, antimacassars, baby clothes and afghans enough to carpet Pike Creek Valley, did hundreds of hours of church work, and managed all the family finances. And, she was typical of the women of her family, her community, of this nation. I confess to occasionally feeling a bit puzzled when I hear that many women of today have no time, for compared to my mother’s generation, mine has had a wealth of time, not just opportunities. I think, primarily, that what has changed is what we want to do with the time. Of course, that is not true for many women of the laboring force. There was a church in New England that held a Sunday service patterned after those in colonial America. The pastor dressed in long coat and knickers, and the congregation was divided by gender: men on the left side of the aisle and women on the right. At collection time, the pastor announced that this, too, would be done in the old way. He asked the "head of the household" to come forward and place the money on the altar. The men instantly rose. Then, to the amusement of the entire congregation, many of them crossed the aisle to get money from their wives. Joline Godfrey, in her book on women entrepreneurs, Our Wildest Dreams, states: “The ability to grow, feel competent, and empowered within the ‘context of meaningful relationships’ is a fundamental dimension, of women’s experience.” Further, she says that women no longer want to just accept their roles as defined by the male power structure of the culture; rather women today are: “Claiming their truths, they are claiming their own identities.” I appreciate the point made by Terri Apter in her book, Working Women Don’t have Wives, that all too often the work-place assumes that workers will have wives at home. Or that women who work have husbands whose work is more significant financially and can afford to, for example, forego the need for health insurance because the husband’s work will provide it (though that is not without a significant cost to both the husband and the wife). Nowadays, despite the rhetoric we are hearing about what constitutes a family in this country, many families are headed by women who are single, abandoned, widowed, or divorced. Women head families, and they need to be able to earn a living wage. (I would encourage all of you to go see the new Delaware Theater Company’s production or read the book, Nickle and Dimed.) Women need health insurance, retirement plans, worker’s compensation insurance, and child care tax deductions, as much or even more than ever before. We have a world in flux, economies are changing, jobs are going overseas by the millions, and the best estimates of our economic forecasters is that women will increasingly needed to keep families together financially. What all this means to our daughters and granddaughters of the coming generation is hard to know, but one thing I think is fairly certain, they will not be content to do as generations of women have had to do around the world, which is be quiet and take what’s on offer by the mostly male leadership. I believe (or at least hope) women will expect the sacrifice and the success to be distributed more equally. Unitarian Universalists have long fought for equal rights across racial and gender lines, and I am certain we will not back away from our Principles when it comes to the women of the world today and tomorrow. In this year when we have the unique opportunity to make our wishes known, I hope we will all be thinking about how women and children are particularly affected by the decisions we each make. The challenge is not disenfranchise one group to lift up another, the challenge, and this is a spiritual challenge of profound meaning, is how we lift up each other so that we all benefit as we are willing to work and contribute. So be it.
March 14, 2004 SermonRev. Nancy D. DeanMarch 14, 2004 - Canvass SundayLiving By PrinciplesWhenever I hear the word principles, I can’t help but remember Illinois Senator Everett Dirksen saying: “I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.” Let me draw your attention, to the back of your Order of Service, where you will always find our UU Seven Principles stated in brief. These principles represent what a long and arduous process of several of our General Assemblies eventually determined were the bedrock statements of ethical principles by which all Unitarian Universalists could be guided. Keep in mind that as a body our Unitarian Universalist Association of congregations (UUA) feared nothing more than that we would take on any statement, or set of statements, that might be construed as a doctrine or creed. We UUs are determined to have no closed book, as it were, of defined beliefs and practices as unchanging truth. Yet, we also recognized then, as now, that we need to be able to rally around the important ethical or moral precepts which we believe do or would guide all people of all communities if they were free to choose (which of course they are not all free). This is the most defining difference between our Unitarian Universalist faith and all others. That we are an ethics-based tradition versus a beliefs-based tradition. Some weeks ago, I mentioned in a sermon that beliefs do not necessarily reflect goodness. We can state that we believe many things, i.e.: I believe that Odin is God, but that does not say anything about how I should treat my brothers and sisters in the world. Beliefs guide many people’s religious understanding, but such beliefs may or may not guide those people who follow them to be good and decent people to others who do not follow the same beliefs. This is what many of us perceive to be problematic with so much that is called religion, and so much of what is done in the name of religion. So what, then, is the difference between ethics-based religion and beliefs-based religion that you and I should be concerned enough to support this faith to the degree that so many of us do? Support to the degree that we have built this building (no small feat for such a small congregation, I would add); and to even sit through what you know is a sermon on this, Canvass Sunday, meant to encourage you to give money. Let’s start at the beginning. Keep in mind if we all lived solitary lives, rather like the great cats, like tigers, coming together only for purposes of reproduction, all this might never have come into question. But primitive human beings did not live alone, each hunkering in their own caves; rather, they lived in groups. Without such communal living we would not be called upon to have a system of ethics or morals (which are essentially synonymous terms). But communal living, first in clans, then tribes, required commonly agreed upon sets of principles. The ethics of these early communities came first, religion came long after. Amazingly, we can look at the anthropological and archaeological record of communities and cultures around the world, and find that the ethics are pretty consistent. In every clan or tribe the main set of ethics said, “No one may kill anyone in this community.” Stands to reason. After all, how long could a community survive if killing one another willy-nilly was acceptable? Of course, killing people in other communities could often be justified, and indeed still is, even by our own communities in the western world today. Another primary moral principle in virtually all communities was/is: You may not steal from others in the community. Sometimes the tribal customs stated that property was communal, no one “owned” anything. This worked, too. Again, stealing from other communities might be all right. Every community has also set its standards around family conduct; that is, what constituted marital and family units. And what sexual conduct was appropriate. This issue varies more than the others mentioned, but if the conduct, such as was known in some parts of the world, is that any visitor should be offered the bed of the leader’s husband or wife, then that was what was done. Of course, that is more hospitality than we in the west think is necessary! So the point I hope to make clear is that ethics or moral principles came first, which is why they do not vary much over time or place in the past or today. What does vary, is the significance of the rites and rituals, the customs, that came to be associated with these ethical beliefs. It is from these beliefs that communities around the world developed the ritual practices and the codes of belief that we came to understand as religions. Religions do vary widely as we can see in the historical record, and as we can see quite clearly today. And to further lift up those religions, following the development of writing, many religions also developed a set of sacred writings that state those beliefs, and tell the stories (which we call myths if they are about other religions) about the origin or creation of the given communities. The Bible and the Koran are but two of many. Religions initially were very community specific, so that, for instance, the most ancient of all known religions still existing are those that form the large variety of practices that are lumped together in the western term, Hinduism. Belief in the necessity to treat others well came to be understood as related to karma, and would guide not only one’s present life, but the life or lives to come. In middle eastern cultures, such as those of Sumeria and Canaan, later seen in the religions of Judaism, and then later still in Christianity and Islam, such beliefs about the necessity to treat others well, relate to both existence here on earth, but more importantly in the hereafter which depending on the quality of one’s behavior could be heaven or hell. Variations on the theme can be seen to run around the world with neighboring cultures borrowing heavily from one another. That is why we see much of the northern African and middle east related, while the Scandinavian cultures, northern communities of Russia, have themes that relate to that area. Holidays that carry forward the ancient and pagan practices show this most clearly. Which is how we get evergreen trees and holly in European holy days, and poinsettias in holidays in Mexico and Central America-all of which eventually come together in this country centuries later. All that is very interesting from a purely anthropological stand point, but what of here and now today, in a country that is not a single culture, but a pluralistic culture, as indeed is more and more of world? We are not just a Christian nation, nor is Israel just a Jewish nation, nor is Iraq just an Islamic nation. The world is suffering in part from a clash of cultures and religions. But it is a suffering that I believe will eventually produce healing, given time and communication. Of this I feel both certain and hopeful. In the meantime, what does it say to us who are frustrated by what seems such senseless killing, and so much of it done in the name of religion? First, let me say that nearly all religions are culpable. With some rare and notable exceptions, such as Tibetan Buddhism, most religions have found a way to justify the motives of the state and ways to violate the basic principles of the community. In fact, down through history, the state and the religion have been one, and have functioned to guide or control the people both by civil and religious means. A powerful and potent combination. The noble experiments of democracy have determined that religion and state need a wide separation from one another, for they leave little room for personal virtue. Which is a stance we have being debated in this country even today: What is civil, that is of the state? And, what is religious? You and I will be getting quite a civics lesson in the next few months and years, as some of these issues come before the courts and legislatures of the land. Religions, then, are cultural creations that lift up the ethical principles of the community; and further, both the principles and the religion, are most of the time dictated as sets of beliefs. What many people have come to find problematic is that the beliefs often obscure their origin, and become more important than the underlying ethical principles. So if the ancient Greeks said, the Gods, live on Mount Olympus, and say that you shall not kill. While, the ancients of Sumeria said, the Gods are Baal and Astarte, and they say you shall not kill. The bigger issue became, Who are the gods? rather than, We shall not kill. Consider a more common understanding of belief, say, one about music. I may say that I believe Mozart is the greatest of all musicians, and what I am stating may have some truth, but it is at best an objective truth. You may believe that another composer created the best music, say John Williams. Or-keeping the Reformation in mind--we might both agree that Mozart was the greatest musician, but disagree as to which of his compositions is the best, or the right one to use in our Mozart religion. Who is the best Mozartarian may become a contentious religious belief. These issues have certainly not left us, and many people want to argue more about whose right in clothing the principles in “right” beliefs, instead of right actions. And, this is where the Enlightenment comes in, which gave both science and free faith their chances to develop. Let us test the premise, said science. If the outcome is the same, then science doesn’t care if there are different ways to come to it. But, as we all know, religion has had a hard time with science, especially when it shows the faults of religion: Galileo was forced to recant the truth in order to live. Religion still has a hard time with science that posits, based on evidence, that evolution is how the earth has developed, but people (who cannot understand the metaphorical writings of ancient religion) insist that the Hebrew creation story-by the way only one of many creation stories around the world-is how the world began. That is what they believe. I was in Georgia recently where they want to scrap from textbooks the Theory of Evolution for so-called “intelligent design.” Assuming one accepts that God created the universe and the earth, why would one need to challenge that evolution could be God’s modus operandi? Would not truth of scientific speculation and testing be more important than unverifiable beliefs? Well, we UUs say, of course. Which brings me to what I understand that it means to live by principles, rather than beliefs. You and I can believe lots of things--and UUs do. For example, some UUs believe in God, some do not. Some UUs believe in an afterlife, some do not. Some believe in other coexisting worlds or dimensions, some do not. We do not challenge that we may have many different ways of understanding the world and the worlds beyond, time and the time beyond. What we do challenge is what it means in relation to how we must live together with all our different ways of believing. More important than what we believe, is the need to respect our right to and our sincerity in our different beliefs. I have absolutely no need to have anyone else believe as I do about the nature of God, but I do need to have others respect my right to believe as I do. You have that right, too, and as the not-so-old saying goes: Your rights end at the tip of my nose, and vice versa. Principle is what guides our actions. Principles say, our UU first principle, that we are all equal, and should be assumed people of good will, and deserving of respect. (Naturally, violating a principle can bring consequences, such as murder or theft do.) Principles say we deserve to have fair treatment, for each of us would want to be treated fairly. Principles say we should have the right to learn and explore what is truth and how we come to have meaning for our lives. Living by principle is not always easy, for it would more convenient sometimes to just exercise one’s authority, and sometimes it is necessary to do that, such as a parent must. But we in a democracy expect to have a say about what that authority will be, and how it will be used. That is the purpose of our Constitution. There is the story about how one morning Thomas Jefferson woke up in a modest Washington rooming house, dressed, and then left the house in order to attend his inauguration as the third president. When he got back, duly sworn in, he found no space left for him at the dinner table. Quietly accepting the democratic principle of first come, first served, the third President of the United States went up to his room without dinner. One has a hard time imagining our modern presidents having that understanding of principle, but then they are farther along when it comes to some other principles-like slavery, for instance. Ethical principles usually relate to what many of us learned as the Golden Rule, first taught in Greek democracy, which states: Do to others as you would have done to you. Would you like to be a victim of killing, cheating, adultery, torture, oppression, slavery, or abuse in any of its many forms? The answer is unequivocally, No. The principle says, Don’t then do such things. Sadly, it is not always so easy, for we are also products of our culture, of the systems that we are taught to conform to, and can find difficult to challenge. One may believe the principle of Thou shall not kill, and practice it as do the Quakers, but when the nation goes to war, living by one’s principles may prove very hard to do, as the Quakers have learned repeatedly. Harsh judgments often befall the one who is trying to live by his/her principles. How many of us have stood by while another was ridiculed and said nothing for fear we would be single out? This is one of the most challenging lessons parents try to teach their children, and for us to learn. Some people are, of course, more skillful than others when it comes to living by their wits as well as by their principles. Take for example in 18th Century England, John Wilkes encountered Lord Sandwich, who was chiefly responsible for the first of Wilkes’ several expulsions from [the House of] Commons, and they soon got into an argument. In a rage, Lord Sandwich said, “Sir, you will come to your end either upon the gallows or [die from a dreaded disease]!” Wilkes replied smoothly, “I should say, sir, that that depends upon whether I embrace your principles or your [habits].” You and I are always being challenged to live by our principles. What ultimately gives us the greatest spiritual meaning in life is how well we do so. It is the rare person who can take pleasure in cheating, lying, stealing, unless said person has a rare skill for self-deception and/or rationalization. Most of us are trying very hard to live good lives, but we find it hard to do that when it seems we are confronted at every turn by so much that is superficial, blatantly self-serving, materialistic, and unkind. It remains one of the most heart-warming moments of my ministry, when a young man (who had begun to bring his family to services) said to me, “I come here because I need to be reminded that I want to be a better person.” He was not a perfect man (indeed we are all far from perfect), but he recognized his spiritual need. I think that is what brings most of us into communities of faith-this recognition. We all need to be reminded that we want to be better people. I am reminded of a story about an elated college graduate who raced excitedly from his graduation ceremony to declare, "Here I am world. I have my A.B." A professor observed this, smiled a wry, weary smile and said, "Nice work, son. Now sit down and let me teach you the rest of the alphabet. Plan on it taking a lifetime." What makes this community special, what makes our free faith special, is that we know it is the struggle of a lifetime to keep our principles before us. We come to this church to be reminded that we want to engage in the struggle, and we want to do it with others who are trying to do the same. We are not here to claim some truth that would set us apart, or give us some rationalization to treat others with disdain. We are here, and we bring our children here, to learn the skills of living by principles. For it is from learning to live by principles that we learn virtue. We accept that it is not easy, yet it is without any doubt the best we can do for ourselves and those we love. It is the best we can also do for the world, for people beyond our own circles, that we know we cannot dismiss simply as “the other” or the “evil other.” This is why we work to build our UU congregations, this community of faith, that there will be a place-this place--where principle and science are accorded their due. We know that to preserve this place we must be willing to give, to sacrifice what is less important for that which is more important. The philosopher and writer Bertrand Russell (a Unitarian), wrote: The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. We all want the good life, but some us want it at the expense of others, which is to be neither inspired by love nor guided by knowledge. If you believe that God is love, as I do (indeed it is the only way I can understand God), then that belief should be seen in all that we do. Otherwise, such a belief is as Paul declared in 1Corinthians of the New Testament, a noisy gong, or a clanging cymbal- just a lot of noise. This morning, as you consider your ability to give to this principles pursuit we call Unitarian Universalism, please remember that we cannot exist without your support. What you give also gives hope to hundreds of thousands of people just like you who would also prefer to live by principle-both now and for the future. I trust you will be guided by your principles and what they lead you to believe. So be it.
March 28, 2004 SermonRev. Nancy D. DeanMarch 28, 2004Balloon Faith: The Rise and Fall of Spiritual ExperienceI read somewhere in the 1980s when people were just beginning to buy desktop and home computers that one of the greater difficulties in learning to use computers was that seemingly simple computer features would (and still do) baffle some users. There were so many people who called Technical Support to ask where to find the "Any" key when "Press Any Key" flashed on the screen that Compaq was considering changing the command to "Press Return Key." I am one of the great multitude of what I like to call “surface users” of computers, those of us who have no depth of understanding about what is going on inside our computer machines. Therefore, I have some sympathy with those people who are so stressed and unsure of themselves when first tackling the great mysteries of the computer that they over or under interpret instructions. Of course, all of us are surface users of something. Probably most people, nowadays, do not know what makes their cars operate in any detail, but we all drive nonetheless. When I learned to drive it was on manual transmission vehicles, and that subtle play between the gas pedal, the clutch, and the brake was tricky to master. Most people went through a few gear screeching episodes before finally mastering the interplay between these three important pedals. And now, with the prevalence of the automatic transmission, we are even further from the process. The point is that surface users of technology or machinery can successfully use those tools for modern life quite well without understanding all the dozens, or hundreds, of manipulations that are going on beneath the hood of the car or the plastic case of the hard-drive of computers. We just accept that there are people out there in the world who have learned these important skills and will happily let us hire them to take care of our problems and malfunctions. It is a wonderful example of our human interdependency. Not long ago I came across a package of balloons I had bought for some long since forgotten reason, and as I tried to blow up one of them, I realized how much harder it is to do that than I remember in my youth. Of course, some balloons are easier to inflate than these long skinny ones I used to make animals for the children this morning. Still, it came to me as I was turning red in the face attempting to blow up the balloon, that the balloon must be forced to undergo the change that we want from it. As I considered this further it seemed an apt metaphor to me for the struggle most of us have with our own spirituality or the struggle with our own sense of meaning in life. So consider the humble balloon as a metaphor for our own lives. We begin small; small in size, small in experience, small in understanding of all things of human reality. Of course, we know for instance that a portion of those small beings do not have the ability to change very much. We consider them mentally handicapped because of their inability to grow and learn very much or as much as so-called normal or average children. So, like the balloons that come in all shapes and sizes and possibilities for change, so too is our human family. From our small years until our adult years, there is a great deal of effort to help us grow and change, to inflate us, as it were, with skills and knowledge, ethical principles, emotional strengths, and so forth. Some of us readily take in all that air of knowing, and change progressively throughout those young years of childhood, into adolescence and the teen years. We know, also, that many teens struggle against this change they perceive coming into them from the adult world of parents, family, teachers, and pastors. Many people rebel at this stage, they are like the balloon that escapes form our fingertips to fly around unmanageably until we can retrieve it. From this point on into the adult years we are like the balloons of various shapes that are often far different in their inflated state than in their beginnings. We take on the shape we feel is intended for us, taking into ourselves more and more, growing and growing. But, you might ask, what about those balloons that burst just at the prime of their becoming? Well, it is true that balloons can be blown up to where there is some point of weakness or fault and burst in our faces. It is a frightening thing to happen, as indeed it is frightening when people we know seem to erupt into bizarre behaviors that threaten their existence, and sadly some do not survive. Many things can cause this: innate weakness in the structure, improper treatment, emotional chaos, depression. Many things can result in the loss of a human life through suicide, or drug abuse, or any number of physical/mental causes over which we may have little if any control. So life itself has the qualities of a balloon, but even more so our mental/emotional lives, that part we call faith or spirituality. I believe that all of life is spiritual; all we do, think, create, enjoy, fear, hate, and love. The spirit is the receiver and the source of all that we think of or understand as one’s life. We are all born with the potential for becoming some kind of adult person, though, as we have already recognized, we are not all born with the same potential, nor will all people recognize or fulfill their potential. Part of the struggle to fulfill our potential as human beings is the great struggle for meaning. Why are we here? What is the purpose of our being? What or how are we supposed to live and behave? What is the point of it all? In on of the stories of Jesus in the New Testament, we are told that a ruler, sometimes translated a rich young man, approached the rabbi Jesus and asked him: “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus tells him to follow the commandments, and the man says, but I have been doing that my whole life. Then Jesus says, “Well, then, there is one more thing you must do, give all your riches to the poor and come follow me.” The first part of the story is the dilemma most people have, and that is: What can I do to avoid death, or the reciprocal, What can I do to have eternal life? The fear of death weighs heavily on the human soul. Jesus responds by saying, well the answer to that fear or concern is pretty straightforward, live by the ethical principles of our community; i.e., follow the Ten Commandments. The man says, but I’ve always done that. Well, then, if you are living right (or righteously we might say), what is the burden that prevents you from achieving this spirituality you are looking for? Jesus does not say that, because he recognizes what this burden is, because it is so common to human beings, this materialism, this devotion to things, money, and power. So Jesus goes right to the heart of things and says, “Well, then the only other thing you need to do, is give away your riches to the poor, and come follow me.” Of course, the man turns away saddened, because this is too much, it is more than he was willing to do. It would have been easy if he was told give some money to the poor; do some good works, etc; or, do these ABC-sets of things that will chalk up some merit with God. The hardest thing to do, though, is often that which leads us to the greatest spirituality. The man was looking for an easy answer, a miracle pill, a cure all for his spiritual angst, but he did not want to have to give up too much. Then Jesus comments to his audience, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than a rich person to enter Heaven.” Many of us here have had to turn our backs on the religious teachings of our families of origin in order to get through that spiritual “eye of the needle.” Or we find we have to give up something else to find our spiritual solace. This is a difficult process, we resist it for a long while, even as the balloon resists the new force upon it as we attempt to inflate it. The forces of change are indeed powerful. Some we can resist, but others we do not want to resist despite the difficulties of change. As with the rich young ruler, for all of us, it is learning to recognize the things that are the burdens that stands between us and that spiritual goal we desire. We can seek the spiritual guidance of a teacher, minister, guru, but still make no progress if we are unwilling to make the needed changes, and that will certainly impede spiritual growth. Of course, there are plenty of charlatans out there ready to give us the answers we want. Lots of people go from one after another astrologer, clairvoyant, minister, and healer looking for some easy or magic answer. But, I say unto you, the answers you seek are within your own heart, if you will but learn to listen and heed them. Speaking of advice, here’s a story to illustrate: These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After thirty-seven hours in the air, George says, "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are." Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are. Let's ask that guy on the ground." So, Harry yells down to the man, "Hey, could you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, a hundred feet up in the air." George turns to Harry and says, "That guy must be a preacher or tinhorn lawyer." Harry says, "How can you tell?" George says, "Because the advice he gave us is one hundred percent accurate and totally useless."
Rather a case of extreme literalness. Not everyone looks at his or her potential growth in terms of spirituality; though, as I said before, I believe that all of life is spiritual and it only takes opening our eyes to this to enliven and enhance the growth of mind or spirit. I use those terms “mind” or “spirit” synonymously, but many people think that the mind is somehow separate from the spirit. Some people say: Well, I’m not a very religious person, or a very spiritual person. What I like to say to anyone who states they are not spiritual/religious, is that they are just as spiritual as anyone else, they just don’t necessarily use the language of spirituality. I will never forget in the first year after I first was called to be the minister of this congregation, it came to me that someone (who has long since left) said that I was not very spiritual. Well, you could have knocked me over with a Bible verse. Just what did that person think it was that caused me to turn away from my deeply fundamentally religious family, to be pretty much outcaste from my family, in order to follow a faith that allows me the truth of my own spirit? What led me to leave my profession as an college English teacher to spend another three years of graduate school at the Harvard Divinity School (at great expense), two years of internship, a summer of hospital chaplaincy, the trials of the Ministerial Fellowship Committee, the process of ordination, then move down here to accept a call to this congregation? Why did I go off on retreats, read ravenously of religious texts? If all that did not qualify me as a spiritual person, what would? What that person was saying, of course, was that I did not fit her particular understanding of what a spiritual person looks like or acts like. It is a common failing, to think there is only one way to be spiritual (usually meaning our own particular vision of spirituality). Maybe she thought I should wear gauzy drapings, stick flowers in my hair, and run through the meadow at dawn singing good morning to the sun. Whatever it was, I never found out. But this much I do know, that that person needed more flexibility in her understanding of how very different spirituality can manifest itself in the world. She needed to blow up her balloon of understanding. There is, though, one sure test of spirituality, its reality and its authenticity, and it is this: whoever acts out of love for others, all others, is a man or woman or child who is living the most spiritual life that is possible. I know some pretty crusty people who may not have the gift of gab or have much talent in the art of tactfulness, and who probably would say, “I’m not a very religious or spiritual person”; but, they are nonetheless among the most spiritual people I know, because I witness them living out of love in virtually everything they do. Socrates said that the most important thing a human can do to live the best and most spiritually elevated life is to “know thyself.” In knowing oneself, that is knowing what motivates us, what moves us, what gives us joy, what our burdens are, to know our best and our darkest sides--this is spiritual power. You can give yourself any label, atheist or theist, Buddhist or Christian, pagan or Moslem, but if you cannot look within and know the truth of your own being, experiencing spirituality that is a positive force will probably remain just out of your reach. To work at knowing ourselves honestly is the ability to realize a greater potential than we may have believed possible, and it is the work of a lifetime. You and I can be more, we can respond to that “More” that the great theologian Paul Tillich said was God. We can look for more good in the world and more in each other. We can work for good ends, as did those who founded this congregation and brought its expansion to this point today when we celebrate our accomplishments, with our Building Dedication this afternoon at 3:00. Faith and spirituality are elastic in us, capable of great change, able to rise and fall with life’s circumstances, but we are fragile, too. Our spirits can be damaged by indifference, fear, hate and by those who would attempt to control our spirits/hearts/minds. Even as the balloon can burst at the touch of a pin. To date I have met maybe two people I believed to be unable to act out of the positive side of their spirits. To operate out of the negative side, or pure ego-centeredness, is the place where evil arises. Almost every single one of us have at some time moved into the dark place of our souls/minds to say or do something hurtful to another person. But we can learn that there is nothing good that can come out of that dark place in our hearts. Only by living each day in the anticipation of doing good, being a person of love (which we should remember is the whole range of positive behaviors from a simple smile to the greatest love we can know) can we become all that is possible within us. Fortunately, the human spirit is capable of a great deal more than a balloon, is more malleable, gifted with the capacity for great love. We are all spirit vessels, spirit balloons; spirits housed in bodies that carry us through this life in various ways. The best we can do is to be willing to learn, to grow, and even to change. In this way we live out our potential as human beings, and grow both is the ways of the spirit and in our faith as Unitarian Universalists. May it be that we all be ever open to the expansion of our hearts, and to the growth of goodness in us and in the world. So be it.
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